Question: Vulnerability vs Needy – How to be vulnerable without being needy
We live in a very individualized world where independence and self-sufficiency is prized… especially when dating. Unfortunately, that means that we avoid vulnerability and don’t learn how to show our softer side in relationships. It also leads to people confusing vulnerability with neediness.
If someone is needy, they rely on someone else for their emotional stability.
They can’t function independently from their partner or take care of their own needs. Vulnerability isn’t that way at all. Being vulnerable in a relationship is allowing your true self to show through. Vulnerability is sweet and can be scary because it’s who we really are. We aren’t always strong and dynamic and self-aware. Sometimes the other feelings take over and we feel fear or sadness. Letting your partner see that side of you shows them who you really are and enhances a relationship.
I remind my couples that we each desire a soft place to land. Letting your vulnerability show through and being real with your partner allows them to be a soft place to land for you. Just take it slow in new relationships. If he’s the right guy, he’ll be there for you and appreciate the softer parts of your personality, too. If he doesn’t, then he’s probably not the right partner for you.
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Originally published on How to Win A Man’s Heart