When clients come to me for support with self-image issues, the first thing we examine is their family. So much of how we feel about ourselves and the messages that we internalize come from what we experience as children.
Some caregivers give us really positive messages. For example, “You’re so smart!” Or, “You’re so pretty!”
Unfortunately, not everyone gets those messages. Some children are taught that they aren’t good enough, don’t measure up or that everything is their fault.
Learn to love yourself
It’s hard to love yourself when you carry around negative messages from your childhood. So a great way to start really falling in love with the person you are today is to examine who you were taught that you are.
Here are a few steps to help you do that.
- Write down the messages you received about yourself growing up. Positive or negative.
- Note who you received the messages from… Grandma? Mom? Dad? Sibling?
- Determine whether that message is useful for you to be happy, successful and fully in love with yourself.
- If not, think of a replacement message. For example, “You’re too fat” can become “You have gorgeous curves and a womanly figure.”
- Then pay attention to the way you think about yourself. If it’s negative, pull out your replacement list and pick one to say about yourself instead.
Not everyone has the most positive people in their life to encourage them. That doesn’t mean you can’t be your own best cheerleader. It just takes consistent practice. There is a reason people say, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Because if you consistently treat yourself better and embrace your whole self, blemishes and all; eventually, you will start to believe it. When that happens, everyone else will see you that way, too!
Reach out today
Teresa is here to help you and your partner develop your self love. To speak with Teresa and her team, call now or fill out the contact form and press Send.