Are you and your spouse having the same fight over and over with no change? You can break the habit and have a much happier marriage. If you keep having the same fight, I can help.
Couples Can Get Stuck
When fights keep on repeating, when your time together is infected by endless reruns of the same argument, your marriage can become a hotbed of resentment. Instead of providing each other with pleasure and support, bickering partners corrode their own happiness.
You know that you’re spinning your wheels in a dead-end strategy when being right becomes more important to you than being happy.
Stop Having The Same Fight Over and Over
In my practice, I work with couples who want to break free from an endless cycle of fights. In some areas of our life we can legitimately expect a quick fix. The flat tire can be patched. The drain cleared. In other areas, fixing problems takes more thought and effort. Breaking free from a cycle of repeating the same fight over and over is one of those areas that takes energy to solve. But, the rewards can be very sweet and last a lifetime.
When Winning Is Not Winning
In our professional or business lives, the urge to win is often key to success. The competitive urge, the desire to come out on top, is key to success in many endeavors. However, it’s not at all a key to success in love. Instead of “winning” by coming out on top, in therapy we’ll work to find solutions to resolve the issues. We’ll learn to defuse the triggers that start fights. We’ll learn techniques that will work for you to improve your relationship.
Learn How Get Your Relationship Unstuck
If you are in a place where you are ready to say “I can’t do this anymore”, that’s okay. It may very well be that you can’t today. The effort of bickering is so exhausting and the animosity so destructive of desire that you may just not have the energy. In counseling, you will learn how to short-circuit the triggers that take you down this path. You’ll learn techniques that will help you and your partner enormously.
When you have a recurring issue, the “communications climate” at home deteriorates, aggravating all the interactions that you have. And, just as bad, it gets in the way of the rewards that we all want from relationships. Love, warmth, support, empathy — they are all shunted aside when fights recur and recur.
Move From Alienation to Affection
If you are trapped in a spiral of resentment and hostility, you may seek to protect yourself by putting distance between you and your partner. The result, alienation, can destroy a relationship.
By learning to really hear our partners, to understand our partners, we can move closer. We can move away from a zero-sum relationship to a win-win marriage. We can rebuild trust, intimacy, empathy and affection.
Help is Available
Learn how to share your feelings more effectively, and how to listen to each other. You will be able to enjoy each other with infecting the present moment with old hurts. Call today, or fill out the contact form and click Send. Not sure if you are ready for couples counseling? Test your relationship with this quiz.
Is parenting adding extra stress to your relationship? I can work with you to create solutions for your relationship and your family.